Growing disintegration of marriages: causes and effects

“Man was not made for happiness, he is born for suffering; let him marry then, and hold his peace,” writes Will Durante in his famous ‘Pleasure of Philosophy.’ In the midst of our wars and machines, the basic reality is in life, neither in the politics nor industry but human relationships. The association of a man with a woman and of parents with a child are two relationships over which the entire human life revolves around.

The theme of love and marriage is the most primitive theme, which is constantly on the verge of varying degree in accordance with the changing modern values in different parts of the world. Pakistani society is said to be the most complex and diversified in its cultural values.Different theories regarding disintegration of marriages have been evolved so for. However, the most cohesive role of breakdown of marriages amongst many, have been analysed in globalisation and modernization.

Arrangements of marriages have got a paradigm shift under the shadow of globalisation. The whole world has become one village and people get married through Internet and other modes without prior consent of their forefathers.

Lovers chat with each other, decide to resort for marriage paying little heed to their cast, creed and culture. Therefore any emotional move results in disharmony among couples causing increase of divorce rates.

Getting immigration through marriage is emerging as another feature of today’s life. Youngsters want to get job in America, West or Middle East, as “this looks cheaper for them to make their future.” However, castles, which youngsters have built in the air dash to the ground as the players fail to come up to expectations.

The very reason being the larger cultural gap that restricts different societies to assimilate each other.

It’s just few years back when media disseminated series of information and updated to the masses. Media has significant role in globalisation and modernization of the world.

A large number of families in Pakistan accuse Indian channels for breaking family units. Aslam and Asma and their colleagues have particularly mentioned the names of dramas as ‘Sas bhee kabhi bhoo thee,’ ‘Kum Kum,’ ‘Kahani Ghar Ghar ki,’ ‘Raja ki Aei gee Baraat,’ ‘Kis Desh Main Hay Mera Dil etc.

“Look, the plot of every drama. It mainly deals in conspiracy among women busy against one another and reflects bad impacts in the family, resulting breaking of relationships,” they maintained unanimously.

Iftakhar Ahmad, a Rawalpindi based mill-owner is equally worried for his children in view of what he described the ongoing media revolution. “The current revolution of different kinds and specific information dissemination had not come up with our societal and cultural values,” he said.

“Sometimes, we have clear reflection of Indian TV channels and western portraying of images at our national and private channels that spoil the young generation,” Iftikhar claims. He proposed to devise a common policy for all TV channels based on our own cultural and Islamic traditions enabling us to watch programmes with his children.

Modernization and Westernisation are also influencing the eastern values. America and West has been spending billions of dollars in third world countries to spread modernization. However complex phenomenon of modernization is not assimilating with the traditional Islamic society.

Our traditional poor women get inspired from modern culture but they are unable to meet the requirements of modern culture. So when they fail to match, the result is divorce.

Haroon Rashid, President of Islamabad Bar Association, cites the media as changing the preferences of our society that impacts every section of life.

“Our culture cannot afford such a modernization of media which is set to change the preferences of our youth,” he said.

He termed that changing trends of marriages as thought provoking citing, “marriages without involvement of parents lead to increasing divorce.” Haroon Rashid stressed the appointment of separate family judges for early disposal of the divorce cases.

He also called for following the teachings of Islam in letter and spirit.

Mujtaba Sherazi, a family-affair advocate, said, “Choice is the order of the day.” However, he said, new couples should no more be restricted to abstain from their choices.

He said emancipation of media and education provided ample opportunities to the youngsters to climb up the old boundaries built by our ancestors.

About question of increasing divorce rate among youth, he said, of course divorce rates too are getting higher but family courts are promptly disposing of the cases.

Now whatever the stances of the experts, one thing is established that our society cannot afford too much divorces.

It would not ruin our social culture and norms but also result in ethical degradation. As we can also not deny the teachings of great religion, it is high time for scholars and mentors to draw a line to save our culture, norms and religious sanctity.


Source: The News, 4/8/2008

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